Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Let The Battle Begin!!!!

Well I have finally decided to get serious with my battle with the bulge!!!! I am sick and tired of being this big, no I'm not going to reveal how big I am, I am disgusted at how big I have gotten and can't bring myself to let any one else know!!! Not even my husband David knows my weight! Lets just say I would like to, no, I WILL LOOSE, about 4 or 5 dress sizes!!! I have really good reason's to loose the weight...

*My health. I have been having back pain, my knee packs up on occasion, worried about stroke & heart attack!

*My children. I want to see then grow up and have kids of their own. I want to be able to play with them with out getting tired after about ten minutes!!!! I want to be able to run around with them and have fun!

*My husband. I want to be more attractive and sexier for my husband, who by the way is skinny and as fit as you can be! He loves me as I am, but is being very supportive as he is worried about my health as well.

*Clothes!!!! I love clothes!!!! But when you are my size you have a limited selection of nice clothes, VERY LIMITED!!!! I want to wear stunning dresses and look good in jeans. Some of the clothes I see make me cry because they are so cute and I am WAY TO BIG for them!

*My self esteem. My self esteem is so low and I have no confidence in my self. Hate going out in public because I think people are talking about "the fat lady", ME!!!

*Not to mention my wedding photos!!! I hate the tummy bulge you can see in the photos!!!! I tried this dress on so many times before the day, and I never once saw the bulge, I thought I looked great in it!!! It wasn't until I saw the photos and nearly died of embarrassment!!! I wish I worn a different dress, or some suck me in underwear!!!!


I started taking meal replacement shakes for breakfast and lunch yesterday, even got myself a smaller dinner plate so that I have a smaller meal at dinner time. Got lots of fruit and vegetables that I am allowed to snack on. Even did exercise!!!!! I am truly serious this time and I WILL BE A SIZE 16 BY CHRISTMAS!!!!! I really wanted to put 14 or 12 but I know I am always going to have big thighs and a butt, it's just my body shape, but a 16 for me would be fantastic! But as long as I'm healthy and feel more positive about myself that is the main thing!
Wish me luck my friends!

2 comments:

campbellgirl said...

GO GIRL!!!!! Love you no matter what size you are. xxxoooxxx D.

Papoosue said...

I wholeheartedly wish you luck Pauline. You can do it!

When I read your post it was as if I had written it myself, it's everything I've been thinking over the last few weeks. I'm going to get there too. Good Luck!!!!! XXXXX