Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Let The Battle Begin!!!!

Well I have finally decided to get serious with my battle with the bulge!!!! I am sick and tired of being this big, no I'm not going to reveal how big I am, I am disgusted at how big I have gotten and can't bring myself to let any one else know!!! Not even my husband David knows my weight! Lets just say I would like to, no, I WILL LOOSE, about 4 or 5 dress sizes!!! I have really good reason's to loose the weight...

*My health. I have been having back pain, my knee packs up on occasion, worried about stroke & heart attack!

*My children. I want to see then grow up and have kids of their own. I want to be able to play with them with out getting tired after about ten minutes!!!! I want to be able to run around with them and have fun!

*My husband. I want to be more attractive and sexier for my husband, who by the way is skinny and as fit as you can be! He loves me as I am, but is being very supportive as he is worried about my health as well.

*Clothes!!!! I love clothes!!!! But when you are my size you have a limited selection of nice clothes, VERY LIMITED!!!! I want to wear stunning dresses and look good in jeans. Some of the clothes I see make me cry because they are so cute and I am WAY TO BIG for them!

*My self esteem. My self esteem is so low and I have no confidence in my self. Hate going out in public because I think people are talking about "the fat lady", ME!!!

*Not to mention my wedding photos!!! I hate the tummy bulge you can see in the photos!!!! I tried this dress on so many times before the day, and I never once saw the bulge, I thought I looked great in it!!! It wasn't until I saw the photos and nearly died of embarrassment!!! I wish I worn a different dress, or some suck me in underwear!!!!

I started taking meal replacement shakes for breakfast and lunch yesterday, even got myself a smaller dinner plate so that I have a smaller meal at dinner time. Got lots of fruit and vegetables that I am allowed to snack on. Even did exercise!!!!! I am truly serious this time and I WILL BE A SIZE 16 BY CHRISTMAS!!!!! I really wanted to put 14 or 12 but I know I am always going to have big thighs and a butt, it's just my body shape, but a 16 for me would be fantastic! But as long as I'm healthy and feel more positive about myself that is the main thing!
Wish me luck my friends!


campbellgirl said...

GO GIRL!!!!! Love you no matter what size you are. xxxoooxxx D.

Papoosue said...

I wholeheartedly wish you luck Pauline. You can do it!

When I read your post it was as if I had written it myself, it's everything I've been thinking over the last few weeks. I'm going to get there too. Good Luck!!!!! XXXXX